Development of Scripts 02.05.2018

After the changes that were done to the scripts after the read through (look at Blog post 'Read Through') and after my last tutorial with Simon on 24.04.18, we discusses how it is still sometimes too chunky, long scenes and that Hara still has too little and it actually a bit of an annoying person with her screeching. Simon suggested that in each episode she should be on a mission that sign posts what it is that she is doing in the episode e.g. she has an addictive personality.

After thinking about it, I decided that Hara will give herself a pep talk in the beginning in each episode; "I am beautiful, I am smart, I am sexy, I am one of a kind and ....." . After the "and" she will say what her goal is for the day e.g. get a date with Mr Conrad, show him how smart she is, talented and so forth. Likewise, I've added that she believes in positive thinking and what goes around comes around, and carries her positive thinking book with her. 

In episode 2, I've cut the kitchen scene down as it was too long, and added a new scene of Hara giving her pep talk to make the scenes shorter. When she is getting ready in her room for her supposed date with Mr Conrad her positive thinking book is lying about and she is also giving herself another pep talk. Likewise, I've broke up scenes to make them shorter and spread them throughout the episode.  Why? By doing so, it cuts the scenes shorter, which follows the guidelines of a sitcom. Scenes in sitcoms tend to be short because it adds attention to the humour and the keeps to the story line as sitcoms are only 21 minutes long. 

In Episode 3 I removed the fact that Kotchy goes to a sleepover because he didn't appear at all in the episode. By doing this it allowed me to show kotchy sneakily recording his family's shenanigans. At the end of the episode instead of Kotchy coming home escorted by firemen, I've had the whole family sit in a circle, passing weed as they talk about their feelings.

In episode 4, I again cut out dialogue and replaced more humour and cut scenes shorter. One scene that I changed was when Kotchy goes to ask Hara for a business idea and ends up copying her self-pep talk. In episode 5 & 6, I added more scenes of Kotchy throughout taking pictures and recording his family. In episode 5, I've made Hara use her positive thinking more instead of being this over the top annoying person. She switches from calm and peaceful to neurotic in a matter of seconds.