Script Development

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I got some amazing feedback from Steve Coombes. Im really happy that he enjoyed my script and thought it was funny. These were his points he gave me:

 
 














Over all he was pleased with the structure and absolutely loved the Voice Over technique

After discussing about the script we decided that the ending was good and so was the second half of the script but he wanted more Voice Over and conflict as well as to focus more on the wedding dress. As a result I decided to:


  1. I developed my scene where the discuss the wedding and took Steves advice about having the two women already having designed the dress. I tried my best to describe what the dress would look like through the voice over which mentions the puffiness, the diamonds and all the lace 
  2. To do the above point I decided to get rid of a scene from my old script which was not necessary; in that scene the two women were talking about grandchildren and their names (but I decided to focus only on the wedding)
  3. Also, I cut down on the amount of description used which was one think Steve asked me to do. 
  4. fixed the time in my script 
  5. The 'cut to' I didn't do as we were no taught how to. 
  6. Also, Steve wanted me to do another character as 'Translation or Subtitle' - I decided not to do this (but don't worry Simon I will give you a sheet with all the translation you need).


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